Don't touch the dango!
by ArAnCaR No. 6
Summary: Very OOC. It was an accident. Too bad Itachi's not very forgiving. Complete and total crack! Absolutely no pairings! Mostly in Kisame's 3rd person P.O.V


**Total randomness XD**

**Seriously! I was bored, so I was just drawing a little 8-boxed collage with my favorite One Piece and Naruto characters, when I decided to doodle a chibi Itachi eating dango, dead-staring to his right and blushing as if someone caught him being a glutton. Plus, a very kawaii Luffy and his meat were nearby XD**

**I find Naruto to be increasingly annoying, and enjoy writting about him freaking out (My readers for GET OUT! know this XD) Seeing as I hate them two as a pairing, but not in humor, I decided to have a go at it XD**

**...**

**This, my children, is where this story was born.**

**Enjoy! Has no yaoi at all!!! Just a very pissed Itachi and terrified Kyuubi vessel. XD**

**Review!**

**XxX**

**Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, I mean seriously, how many times have I said this?**

**XxX**

Itachi loves dango.

It was well known within Akatsuki. If their only genjutsu user was enjoying his favorite sweet, he was not to be teased, no matter how childish it was. Simple, right?

After exceptionally difficult missions, the Uchiha liked to go out to the nearest dango shop and indulge a little, even though Kakuzu would always complain that the twenty one year-old's expenses on the mochi rice sweet was running them into bankrupcy. Of course, Itachi being Itachi, doesn't give a crap. And Akatsuki, being the smart S-ranked crimminals they were, dared not come between the raven-haired member and his favorite snack, or else things would get ugly.

Speaking of ugly...

...

"GET THE HELL BACK HERE YOU STUPID LITTLE BASTARD BRAT!!!!"

_***CRASH***_

"Naruto! What did you do?!"

"GAHH! I'M SORRY DON'T KILL ME!!!!"

"Itachi-san stop! It was an accident!!!"

...

What happened, you ask?

Scroll down my friends

**XxX**

_xXxFlashbackxXx_

_Kisame, for the first time in a while, decided to go on with Itachi to a dango shop. He had to admit, his younger partner's love for dango was a little ridiculous, but he had to admit, it was amusing to see the usually emotionless Uchiha feed his sugar addiction every once in a while._

_Both seated themselves in the benches outside after ordering their... well, orders. It was indeed a nice day, different from the rain in the Akatsuki's base in Ame, and they were happy, to be blunt, to feel the sun's warmth every once in a while._

_Of course, when one speaks of a nice day, it is usually meant to be peaceful and silent._

_However..._

_"Man, Sakura-chan, I'm hungry. Can we stop?"_

_Kisame caught the look of irritation that briefly passed his young partner's face. When Itachi was first assigned the Kyuubi, he did not seem happy. The confrontation in the hotel a few years ago clearly told the shark man why._

_The kid was loud._

_Loud and dim-witted._

_It was so simple, and the reason why the Uchiha always stalled the capture of his own target; the walk over to Ame from Konoha was long, and Kisame knew he would kill him first and turn in his corpse instead. Itachi just plain did not like loud, stupid people, then again, he once punched Deidara because he wouldn't stop babbling about his art and how it was superior. Seeing how that one hit knocked the blond out for hours made Kisame feel relieved that he wasn't the talkitive kind and was pretty clever on his own._

_"Gahh!!! What are you bastards doing here!!!"_

_..._

_Why is he always yelling? The shark-man watched as Itachi's eye faintly twitched._

_The pink-haired girl, who Kisame assumed was 'Sakura-chan', glared at them. "What do you want?" she sneered, as she got into a fighting stance a mere fifteen feet away. "Nothing, now if you don't mind, now is not the time." the blue swordsman sighed as a smiling woman, perhaps in her late thirtys, approached them, two plates of dango in her hands. Itachi, who had not spoken so far (Kisame knew he was waiting for the dango), turned around in his seat to take both dishes from the older lady's hands, a 'thank you' on the verge of coming out of his mouth._

_..._

_You guessed it, something interfered._

_..._

_"What the hell?! Why are you ignoring us?" Naruto loudly complained as he jumped in front of the S-class nin, causing him to bump rather roughly into the lady's outstretched hands. The woman gasped as the sudden intrusion caused her to __drop__ the plates of dango upon the dirt floor._

_***CRACK***_

_All four nin stared down at the clatter._

_The sweet rice balls were a mess, with the shoyu glaze dusted brown, along with little chips of the broken dishes. Birds began to flock around for the free food as the rest just stared._

_..._

_Kisame stared, horrified, at his partner, ready to restrain him if necessary. The Uchiha stared at the small sparrows and pigeons as they fed off the sweet treat, his sweet treat._

_..._

_***CRASH***_

_Suddenly, the fine dust raised into the ground as if someone had set off a bomb, to the point that little chips of dry dirt and broken stones flew. As the dust cleared after a several seconds, the entire dango shop's inhabitants could see a very freaked Naruto as he narrowly missed a sudden attack from the Uchiha, a long black katana from seemingly nowhere. The blade was roughly 14 inches into the ground, the sheer power of the blow causing a crater to be indented in the area the blond Kyuubi vessel was once standing. Even Kisame and Sakura were completely thrown off as they stood in awe several feet away._

_Silence followed for five tense seconds._

_"You have three seconds to run away." Itachi venemously spoke as his hold on the katana failed to faulter._

_"Huh-?"_

_"One"_

_"I didn't even-"_

_"Two"_

_"Wait-!"_

_"Three!"_

_With strength that seemed to come out of nowhere, Itachi yanked the katana out from its temporary dirt confinement. Naruto took this as his queue, turned around, and promptly began to run._

_"AHHHH!!! SAKURA-CHAN HELP!!!!" he screamed frantically as he narrowly dodged a decapitation attempt._

_"Itachi-san, stop it! It was a complete accident!!!"_

_xXxEnd FlashbackxXx_

Itachi somehow chased him into a forest, which was incidentally where Team Kakashi was resting.

....

The looks on their faces at seeing a panicked Naruto being chased by a pissed Itachi was epic.

...

"KAKASHI-SENSEI HELP MEEEE!!!!!" he cried out frantically as he ducked behind a tree, causing the black katana to slash the tree trunk instead, prompting Kakashi to step in.

He failed.

Kakashi tried to at least hold the S-ranked nin down for a few seconds, enough for Yamato to get his wood jutsu into action.

Itachi did the most childish thing anyone can possibly do. Once the two nins were mere inches away, Itachi firmly placed his free hand on top of the konoha-nin's spiky silver head, sharply shoved him down, causing Kakashi to lose his balance. Using his head as leverage, Itachi practically leap-frogged over him. Leap-frogged!!! Sai and Yamato gaped in shock as Kakashi tumbled face-first into the ground, Itachi continuing his chase after the now completely terrified Naruto. There was no way they were getting involved.

"AHHHH!!!"

**XxX**

Kisame stared at the forest from a distance, having already contacted Akatsuki for help controlling their second-youngest member. A tree crashed and tipped over, causing another random one to fall as well. Team Kakashi had evacuated the area once Kisame explained that it would be so much better to let Itachi run his anger off, now Kakashi put an ice bag over the pain in his head as he stared along with the Akatsuki member.

"What happened here?"

"Itachi-san likes dango, a lot. The kid dropped it before he even touched it."

Silence.

"Is this normal?" Sakura asked, puzzled. Kisame shrugged. "It should be, but Itachi-san doesn't like loud people, so..." he trailed off as everyone sweatdropped before Kakashi spoke once more.

...

"I am never touching dango again."

**XxX**

**A/N: Total randomness XD Seriously, I had no ending planned for this, then again, I rarely do. Okay people, this will most likely be the one and only time I write a fic with Itachi and Naruto as the main characters, so I hope you enjoyed!**

**Review! Before Itachi leap-frogs you XD *crackle***


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